Learning Curve January

o it's coming to the end of January and I havn't wrote in here as my whole month has revolved around Michelle. I've held off writing in here because I didn't want to write anything I would later go on to regret as my mind keeps changing but
the other day my mind was made up for. I'm going to make it short as it's too painful to go in depth and put all my thoughts in here as I usually would. Basically, A lote happened very quickly for me and I made a rash decision which I later went back on and that decision was to break up with Michelle as I felt she wasnt putting any effort into our relationship and I can't be with someone like that. I begged her to take me back and after almost 4 weeks I gave her her ultimatum the other day over the phone. We ended up going round and round in circles and I realised if she didn't no by now if she wanted to be with me then her mind was made up. I ended up stopping being so nice and pussy footing around to make her take me back and showed my true feelings and told her that was it. It is possibily the hardest thing I have ever had to do and still believe that if we had been living in the same city this would never happen. I do not regret anything i did pre-break up and had a great time with her but it's too much of an up hill battle to keep us together and it's depressing and I turn to drink which makes me broke and harder to pay my bill. I can't live like that.

Plus side though, I'm coming up to a year in NZ and have been thinking about how I am going to spend my last year here. I am seriously considering working a ski-season (probaly won't settle in Queenstown because I'll bump into Michelle and it'll be so hard for me)for a couple of months while I'm waiting for the call off Gaz to move back to Auckland and run the bar. I'm moving out of the apartment in a month
and looking into moving out to Waiheke Island and working there. My social life may take a huge hit but I'll save money and just chill the fuck out, which I have not done in a long time. I spent the day there today and have struck a deal with Bodhi that I'll go over every other week and bring with me atleast 4 or 5 peeps which will
get a discounted rate and I'll get it for free. It was exactly what I needed, just to chill and mellow out as the whole of this month has been stressed. I got back into the city and immediately was not chilled, i didn't like that at all.
In the next couple of weeks, me and a girl from Cali are going to head over to the island and look at jobs and accomodation. This year, I promise. Will be the best yet. I am not going to get myself into another situation similar to one with Michelle but if they are in completely the same mindset as me and there plans match mine exactly then I won't say no but until then I have one thing to say...
Naked Ste is back, and he is ruder, cruder and more naked than before. The guy my friends love is going to come out and play.